blah.

this post is not supposed to be fulfilling any purpose other than wasting precious webspace.
enjoy.
:)

"good evening, infidels"

okay.
this post has been long overdue.
it is funny how everyone is catching up with the achmed fever.
oh, no.
wait.
its not a fever.
no.
achmed is a way of life.
yes.


thank you sumi for introducing me to achmed.
now, the important part is the importance of achmed.
you see, i have a very short attention span.
and achmed has been able to successfully hold on to my attention for nearly a year now.
and so, you just HAVE to consider achmed seriously.
he is probably the only person i like dead.
(oh, wait. no. there are quite a few other people who i would prefer dead too)

i don't understand why no one gives him the importance he deserves.
i mean, where else would you find a terrorist who makes people go "oh damn! you are *bwahahahahdfg*?
you NEED to check this man out.
i know you haven't
don't lie.
which brings me back to why i am making this post.
well, i never really did get to the point.
but, that is not the point.

this post is to spread awareness about achmed.
for weeks, i have been all over the place shouting "i kill you".
some shout back the same.
others think i am some red-orange plutonian caught in mars.
to those others, watch brilliance unfold.

i wish they made men like him.
there would at least be something to look forward too.
*sigh*

okay.
i don't know what to write anymore.
i could shout and hurl obscenities at you for not loving achmed.
but then again, i am told that i am a good girl.
i don't quite want to spoil that image.
*sigh*

so, for now, bow.

no title.

okay.
so this is another shut-the-fuck-up-soumi blog post.
i will rant and rage and poop and shit.
and you will read this post, no matter what.
no, that statement was not a threat.
that was the way i summarise normal human behaviour.
you are anticipating an extremely interesting and engaging post.
and just so that you know, you are not allowed to shout at me and curse me if you end up hating yourself for reading this.
i know i will.
but yes, i shall not tolerate any kind of obscenity on this page.
this is MY blog.
i make the rules.
however, i am allowed to break the rules myself.
but that is not the point.
the point is that you need to be on your best behaviour.
something you could never get yourself to do when you were in school.
or anywhere else, for that matter.
so, be good.
be very, very good.
*sigh*


now comes the difficult part.
what am i exactly writing about?

nothing in particular.

people are actually taking the pain to set up bombs at strategic areas and cause national turmoil.
what the *beep*?!
its easier to blow up those ruddy good-for-nothing politicians, you know?
you'd even get to become a national hero that way.
did you even think about it?

okay.
so.
what if i get blown up tomorrow morning?
what if?
my mum will cry until she faints.
she'll regain consciousness and again cry until she faints.
that is a never ending cycle.
i am not quite sure what my dad will do.
he might cry.
or he might just stare at my corpse in disbelief.
and my sister?
oh, don't even get me started on that.
what about you?
you might laugh at first.
and then go "wait, what? no. are you serious?"
and after that, i shall let you do what you want to do.
but yes, try executing the opening scene properly.
after that, its an open script.


now, i just realised that i need to leave behind a piece of goodbye letter or some shit like that.
so yes, if i die, just read this out to the world.
keep a dharna or a candle march or something appropriate.

*ahem ahem*
yes, so, i would like to thank my mommy dearest for having brought me up the way she did.
and also for having the patience to bear with me after having brought me up the way she did.
i would like to thank dad for gifting me the "my dad is my atm" t-shirt and living by it.
and also for being the coolest dad ever.
(no, my dad is The Coolest.)
i would like to thank my sister for being my punchbag for so many years.
and kicking my arse when i needed it.
i would like to thank mashi and bubun da for giving me all the bellyaches i got after the afternoon PJ sessions.
i would like to thank my guitars for being mine.
i would like to thank my friends for befriending me.
and also for not running away.
i would like to thank microsoft giving us IE.
and the mozilla guys for giving us mozilla.
i would like to thank an idiot for listening to me when i needed him to.
i would like to thank adobe photoshop for showing me my "creative" side.
i would like to thank my pen for not running out of ink during my JUDE entrance exam.
i would like to thank JUDE for being so brilliant.
i would like to thank everyone at JUDE for being so uber brilliant.
i would like to thank vodafone for coming up with such great call plans.
i would like to thank nokia for giving me my phone.
i would like to thank jim morrison for being my god.
i would like to thank jimi hendrix, al di meola and bb king for being more than gods.
i would like to thank the air around my place for being clean enough for me to breathe.
i would like to thank all my blog readers for having survived all that i write.
and FINALLY, i would like to thank myself for no particular reason at all.


phew.


so, if i die tomorrow, please tell my family that i loved them.
and maybe you too.
i am not too sure.

*sigh*


see.
there was no reason why you should have wasted so much time.
no reason at all.

hope you had a good laugh.
i did.

HAH.

and the light bulb glows.

there are times when i surprise myself.
i really do.
the are times when i have said extremely intelligent and nice and "smart" things.
and later, i end up thinking whether i really said that.
but that is not the point.
the point is that i am the one who said all of that.
in my senses.
see.
i really could not have been under a state of intoxication because i am an idiot who doesn't smoke, drink or dope.
yes, laugh.
so, as i was saying, i surprise myself.
i really do, you know.


i think i'll show you how.

and no, they are not supposed to make sense.
you are just expected to read, raise your eyebrows and applaud.

if the world was to make sense
life would be but another wasted cause.
but life seems a little bit more than that little bit less
and i, the echoing applause.

i let go of you.
i just decided to infiltrate your mind,
so that you can't leave me behind.

you are here my friend,
right in front of me.
the booze is over
and so is she.
and there you stand,
all good and bright.
happy and content,
the way i like.

a little less for a little more.

okay.
this is the post where i shall sound very unlike myself.
HOWEVER, what follows is very me.
yes.
please take me seriously.
just this once.


it was the 15th of august yesterday.
and i know that you don't really care much.
but i do.
I Day gets me all excited and goosey, that is to say that i get goosebumps.
and i like it.
i like feeling all pathetic and teary all day.
it helps me realise what i am all about.
but i don't really see why people don't want to see things the way i do.
they rant and rage about how they want the perfect country and brilliant shit but they don't really open their eyes and see that that is how things are.
you talk about ignorance?
HOW can we be ignorant if we all have some amount of knowledge of how things are and how things should be?
you know.
i know.
they know.
we all know.
but we still say that NO ONE CARES.
sheesh.
grow up.
people care.
its just that you are too blind to see it.
i know that my country has flaws.
but they aren't that big either.
and it is very much fixable.
you say that today's youth is straying.
that we are not "indians" anymore.
we know, and we care more than any one of you could have ever cared.

i have hope.
and faith.
and i want everyone else to have faith.
on themselves.
and on the country.
the moment that is gone, we are gone as a nation.
i love my land.
and i want everyone else to love it the same way.
i know they do.
but i want everyone to love it as something more than a debate topic.
i know that this one blog post can't change anything.
but i had to post.
i just knew i had to.
*sigh*

...this land is brighter than the brightest star in the sky
it is a pity that you are blind...

broken dreams,
glued together.

only if you saw beyond the cracks painted on them.


...and i will try and fix you...

Faith, rediscovered.

I am drifting away,
running,
I am falling into this deep, dark abyss.

Won't you hold on to what's left of me?
The fading echo of me that still lingers in this hollow nothingness?
I am becoming but an empty shell,
I have lost faith.
I am now a girl with strained beliefs.
With unanswered questions.
I am now an organised mess.

You are becoming fainter still,
And I, more disillusioned than before.
Mute you stand there flanked by them,
Alone I stand here not knowing where to go.

I am but a lost soul at sea,
tossed by the waves of science and discovery.
They pull me further away from you, my shore,
and pushes me towards that land unknown.

I have always found the need of you,
the need for that eternal ray of hope.
I have always found me wanting you,
that reassuring Faith,
the need to feel life in my core.

A half-devilish laugh escapes you,
You stare at me knowingly.
And smile.
I realise.

You have been inside me all along,
too clever to respond.
I cried and wailed for what I thought I had lost.
You silently hugged me and kept me warm.

Reunited, I stand now with you by my side.
The shadows of oblivion have shown me the light.
The birds sing again and the buds now flower,
and I have sense of you again,
oh! Faith, rediscovered.